第一篇 成長·勵志
I   Growth·and Motivation
 
1.1母親兩度患癌催生了我的夢想
1.1 My dream came out of my mother suffering from cancers twice 
 
應該說，每個人的內心深處都有夢想，有自己的人生理想和追求，對幸福生活的訴求與期待。一般人的夢想，大多都是對未來生活的憧憬，而我卻與往事關聯。我的夢想，起源于母親的兩次癌癥，因為癌癥奪走了我母親的生命。從那時起，我就感覺癌癥是人類未解密的黑洞。
It should be said that everybody has dreams at the bottom of his heart, ideal and pursuits of his life, plus of appeal and expectation of the happy life. Most people’s dreams are always expectation for the future life; however, my dream was related to the past which originated from my mother suffering from cancers twice, and the cancers had taken away my mother’s life. From then on, I felt that cancer was the un-decoded black hole for human beings.
 
母親第一次患癌，讓我立志要成為一名醫生；母親第二次患癌，讓我有了“破解癌癥黑洞密碼，救治更多母親”的夢想。和千千萬萬個家庭一樣，母親將自己無私的愛，全部給了我。
The first time that my mother suffered from a cancer made me devote to be a doctor; and the second time made me have the dream “to decode the black hole of cancer for more mothers, and save their lives”. I liked my mother because she had given me all her selfless love, just as the others in thousands and thousands of families.
 
小時候我有一個充滿了愛的家庭，父親沒有像爺爺那樣從文，而是從小喜愛習武，并且很有造詣。他年輕時靠打拳賣藝為生，走遍全國，哥們兒義氣的朋友一大幫，解放前在國民黨軍隊當過武術教官，后因幫助老鄉逃離監獄而犯下錯，離開了國民黨部隊。也因此在解放初期入獄三年，即所謂的“歷史反革命”。盡管如此，父親還于20世紀50年代在濟南部隊當過業余教官，教解放軍武術。小時候我經常跟著爸爸練拳腳，學了一些武術功夫，以至于后來去了美國，還教美國老太太們太極拳，那已是后話。母親是個賢惠能干的女人，家里的一切事務從沒讓父親操心。母親生下四個孩子，我排行老三，家里還有兩個姐姐和一個妹妹。可能是家里的唯一男孩吧，表面看不出來，實際上母親非常偏愛我，我經常跟人說，我是在母親的慈愛庇護下長大。
My childhood was spent in a family full of love. Instead to be a literary man like my grandfather, my father liked to practice martial art when he was young, and he achievements in martial art was considerable. My father made a living by boxing and busking as a young man, traveled all the country and made a lot of buddies. He served as a martial arts instructor in Kuomintang’s Army before liberation, later committed  offences for helping a fellow villager escape from prison and then departed the Kuomintang’s Army. As a so-called “history counterrevolutionary”, my father was closed in prison for three years in the period of initial post-liberation In spite of this, my father still served as an amateur instructor in Jinan troops in 1950s, teaching the people's Liberation Army martial arts. When I was a child, I often followed my father to practice and learn Chinese Kung Fu, so I taught American old ladies Taijiquan after l went to USA, but that was the later story. My mother was a virtuous and capable woman who undertook all home affairs, which never let my father be worried. She gave birth to four children, as the third of four children I had two elder sisters and a younger. Maybe just as I was the only boy in the family, my mother gave me most of her love partially, though she didn’t look so. Hence, I often told others that I was growing up under my mother’s affection and asylum.
記得小時候，夏天在外玩，回來時一定要喝水，三碗水在桌上，我知道哪個碗里有糖，姐妹卻不知道，那是母親特意給我準備的。每次過大年，母親肯定會給我做一身新衣服。說是新衣服，其實就是大人的衣服改裝的，而姐姐們和妹妹大多都穿著舊衣服過年。家里要是趕上有好吃的，即使我沒在家，母親也會給我留出一些。二姐發現母親偏向我，總是和我對著干，有時我倆還扭打在一起。小妹雖然年幼，卻反而事事都讓著我。父親對我雖然嚴厲，但我一直是個聽話、乖巧的孩子，從來不惹是生非，在學校學習中又一直名列前茅，平素不茍言笑的父親，從來沒對我訓斥過。父親每次外出，妹妹都想跟去，父親總說不行，卻早已暗示我，讓我在大街的路口等他，與他同行。那時的我，雖不像現在的獨生子女，卻享受著全家人的呵護。
I remembered when I was a child, we come back home after playing outside in summer, we must drink a plenty of water, while three bowls of water were put on the table and only one with sugar, I knew this but my sisters did not know, because my mother specially prepared it for me. My mother certainly made a new dress for me on every Spring Festival. In fact, the so called new dress was modified from the adult’s clothes, while my sisters always dressed old clothes to celebrate the Spring Festival. Occasionally there were some tasties at home, and even if I was outside, my mother would also leave some for me. The second-eldest sister found that my mother was partial to me, so she always acted against me and sometimes scuffled with me. However my little sister was very young, she always gave way to me in everything. Although my father was strict and usually serious in speech and manner, he had never reprimanded me because I was an obedient and clever boy, never stirred up any trouble and my study was always better than the others. Every time my father went out, my younger sister usually wanted to go with him, he always said no to her but hinted that I waited him at the intersection of the street. At that time, though I was not the only child of the family as today’s, I enjoyed care and protection from the whole family.
 
在20世紀60年代初期，能夠讓人填飽肚子的食物，成了全國人民的奢侈品。那時，由于父親在國民黨軍隊里工作過，被打成了“反革命分子”，遣返回農村老家。返鄉前父親是運輸公司的搬運工，還可以養家糊口，但是回到農村，就沒有了生活來源。全家人靠著親朋和鄰里的幫助，勉強過日子，經常是吃不飽、穿不暖。
In the early1960s, the food that could fill the stomachs of people had become the national luxury. At that time, as my father worked ever in the Kuomintang’ army, he was called the "counter revolutionaries" and sent back to the countryside. Be a porter in a transportation company before returning the countryside, barely supporting the family, while in countryside father lost the life source. All the family managed to get along depending on the helps of kinfolks, friends and neighbors, often scarce of food and clothes.
 
在動蕩起落的“文革”時期，父親雖是“反革命”，但子女沒有罪��！在母親的爭取和努力下，我和母親又回到濟南，但是我們家的房子已經被鄰居占據，派出所的民警就讓我們住到了鄰居家的三間北屋中的東間。一個屋檐下，難免磕磕碰碰，有幾次還吵了起來。那時，母親不放心在鄉下的爸爸和姐姐們，常�；貣|平探望。記得有一天，我放學回家，院子里沒有大人，小孩也不搭理我。我就在門外溜達，忽然眼睛一亮，看到同院的鄰居洪大娘曬在窗臺上的熟地瓜干，我的肚子馬上就咕咕地叫了起來，口水都流出來了，我實在是太餓了。心想，就吃一塊吧，洪大娘沒在家，吃一塊又看不出來。吃上一塊地瓜干后，感到更餓了，那肚子就好像裝著一個正在轉悠的轱轆，叫起來似乎還有節奏，我就間隔著拿起地瓜干，一塊一塊往嘴里塞，直到自己感到大娘可能要看出來了，這才收手，找小朋友玩去了。第二天也如此這般，時間一長，地瓜干就所剩無幾了。
In the turbulent period of the "Cultural Revolution", though father was the "counter revolutionary", while the children were innocent! Due to mother's trying and efforts, mother and I went back to Jinan, whereas our house had been occupied by neighbors and the police let us live in the East of three north rooms of a neighbor. Under one roof, it was hard to avoid bumps one with another, and for several times quarrelling happened. At that time, mother felt worried about my father and sisters in the countryside, often she went to Dongping to see them. One day, I came home from school, no adults in the yard, and the children did not talk with me, then I strolled outside, suddenly a bright light flashed before my eyes, I saw neighbor Aunt Hong’s cooked dry sweet potatoes sunned on the sills, immediately I felt so hungry with stomach cooing up and slobber flowing out. I thought it was nothing to have a piece, after all, Aunt Hong was not at home, even if I ate a piece and she could not perceive it.  Eaten a piece of dried sweet potato, while I felt more hungry and my belly sounded with rhythm as if there was a rotating wheel contained in it, so every now and then I picked up pieces of dry sweet potatoes putting into my mouth one by one, until I felt that Aunt Hong might perceive it then I stopped to play with my little friends. The second day, such and such things was going on, as time went a long, there was not much left.
忘了過了多久，母親回來了，責備我不該偷吃地瓜干，并高高舉起了手要打我�？赡苁俏夷呛ε碌谋砬樽屇赣H有些心軟吧，母親抬起的右手只是有些用力地摸了摸我的頭，嘆了一口氣。原來幾次偷吃，鄰居洪大娘全看在眼里，但她沒有阻止我，她笑著跟母親說：“這孩子真餓壞了。”這是我記憶中第一次犯錯，也是唯一一次差點挨打。瞧，母親有多么疼愛我！至今一想起此事，我就想流淚，就非常想念我的母親。  

I forgot how long it passed, then mother came back who blamed me for eating the dry sweet potato furtively, she raised her hand high to slap me. Maybe my scared face made mother be softhearted, and her raised right hand only touched my head hard, with a sigh. Originally, what I had done several times was seen by neighbor Aunt Hong, while she did not stop me, she told mother with a smile: “The boy was really hungry.” This was the first time in my memory that I made a mistake, and the only time that I nearly was beaten. Look, how much my mother loved me, so far, once I think of it, tears was  flowing , and I missed my mother very badly.  

1970年，由于父親歷史問題的原因，本來已經返回濟南的我們，又一次被遣返回東平。不過大姐已經參加了工作，所以就留在了濟南城里。返鄉的頭一天，一輛解放牌大卡車停在家門口，全部家當都被裝上了車。第二天，滿載著人和東西的車走了大半天，就到了東平接山鄉夏謝村。到了村頭停下車，村四大隊的書記來迎接我們。然后我們一家人住進一個牛棚，一走進去還聞到一股牛糞味。
In 1970, due to father’s historical problem, my mother and I, who had returned to Jinan, were once again deported to Dongping, merely my eldest sister had worked and she stayed. The day to return, a big Jiefang truck parked at our door, then all the bag and baggage were loaded in it. On the second day, the truck which was loaded full of persons and baggage took most of the day arriving at the village of Xiaxie, Jieshan Xiang, Dongping County. As soon as the truck stopped, the secretaries from four big teams in the village came to welcome us. Then our families lived in a bullpen where I sniffed out a smell of cow dung as I entered.
 
小時候，我脾氣挺倔，母親說，我有著不達目的誓不罷休的勁頭。記得有一次，已經在濟南水泥制品廠上班的大姐回來看望我們，住了兩天大姐就要回濟南，我就鬧著要跟著去，母親雖不讓，但表面上答應了，因為那時我已經在農村上小學了。第二天一大早，大姐就去大（這里讀dai）羊鄉車站，沿著山區的小道，乘車回濟南了，我醒來發現她不在，知道大姐已經走了，就往門外跑去。到車站的路有十五里，一路上我邊跑邊喊，可是已經看不到大姐的身影，但我沒有停下來。那時山間的路難走啊，根本沒有像樣的路，還要路過一片墳地，我跑出了大約十五里，那車早已沒了蹤影�；丶液�，我郁郁寡歡，精神恍惚，母親發現后，感覺有些不對勁。因為我曾路過墳地，鄰居大媽就提醒母親：“是不是被鬼纏上了？快做做法事吧。”還是母親了解兒子，“這是他的犟脾氣啊。”十幾天后，濟南東平的老鄉回夏謝村探親，母親就懇托濟南老鄉騎著自行車帶著我，一大早四點鐘就出發，一路直奔濟南。到了晚上六點終于到達大姐家，兩百多里的路啊，我的屁股幾乎要顛破了。在濟南住了一個月，我的情緒穩定下來，大姐才把我送回了東平。母親啊，你太了解兒子，也太寵著兒子了！
When I was young, I was very stubborn, mother said that I had a spirit of not up until the goal. I remember once my eldest sister came back to see us who had worked in the factory of Jinan cement product, after living with us for two days, she would return to Jinan, and I wanted to go with her naughtily, mother did not permit while promised on the surface, as I had gone to school at that time，a rural primary school. Early on the second day, my eldest sister went to Daiyang Xiang station, along with the mountain trail, riding back to Jinan. I woke up and found her out, realizing sister had gone, I ran toward the door. The way to the station is fifteen miles, I shouted as I ran, while couldn't see eldest sister’s figure, but I didn't stop. At that time it was difficult to walk on the mountain road, for there was no decent way at all, still someone needed to pass by a cemetery, I had run for about fifteen miles to get the station, but the bus had been out of sight for a long time. After returning home, I felt depressed and my mind was wandering. When mother noticed, she felt something was wrong with me. Since I had passed the cemetery, a neighbor aunt reminded my mother:”Whether the boy was tangled by the demon? Conduct a religious rite quickly.” Nevertheless, mother knew her son, she said: “it was just because of his stubborn temper.”More than ten days later, a fellow-villager from Dongping，Jinan was returning to Xia Xie village to visit relatives, mother requested him sincerely to take me to Jinan by bicycle. Early in the morning we set off at four o'clock, went straight to Jinan all the way, eventually we arrived my eldest sister’s home at six o’clock in the evening. After the journey of more than two hundred miles, my ass was almost jolted to broken. Living in Jinan for a month, until my emotion was stabilized, then my eldest sister brought me back to Dongping. My mother, you are so understand your son, and you doted on your son too!
20世紀70年代，積勞成疾的母親患了宮頸癌。不忍看著母親受到病痛折磨，才12歲的我， 就用板車拉她去公社醫院看病，醫生說是癌癥的那瞬間幾乎嚇死我。可怕的癌癥，那是我第一次聽到它的名字。第二天母親被送去了濟南，在大姐的關懷和醫生的積極治療下有了好轉。從那時起，我最大的夢想就是當一名醫生。我太愛母親了，每當聽到母親的呻吟，就好比刀子在剜我的心。那時在學校學習根本不是為了自己，而是為了母親……1977年恢復高考，我如愿以償，考進了青島醫學院北鎮分院。我要當一名醫生的愿望太迫切啦。
In 1970s, mother was broken down from constant overwork, suffering from the cervical cancer. I could not bear to see mother was tortured by the disease, just 12 years old, I pulled her to the commune hospital with plate trailer. It almost scared me to death at the moment when the doctor said it was cancer. The terrible cancer, it is the first time I heard the name of it. The second day mother was sent to Jinan, then it took a turn for the better as mother was under my eldest sister’s caring and the active treatment of the doctors. Since then, my biggest dream is to be a doctor. I loved my mother so much, whenever I heard mother moaning, it liked using a knife cut out my heart. At that time I learnt in the school which was not for myself, but for my mother...... When the college entrance examination was resumed in 1977, I had got my wish, entering Beizhen Branch of Qingdao Medical Academy. My wish of being a doctor was too urgent.
 北京翻譯公司加急-北京翻譯公司價格-北京翻譯公司酒仙橋
我在醫學院學習的四年中，成績一直名列前茅。畢業后，我被分配到山東省腫瘤防治研究院（現山東省腫瘤醫院）工作，不久，又被派往中國醫科院腫瘤醫院進修。
During the four years I learned in the medical college, my grades was always at the top of the list. After graduation, I was assigned to work in the Research Institute on Tumor Prevention of Shandong Province (now the Tumor Hospital of Shandong Province), before long, I was sent to study in the tumor hospital of Chinese Medical College.
 
天有不測風云，就在研修最忙的時候，操勞一生的母親又一次患上了癌癥，是食道癌。這對于我來說，打擊太大了，母親是我精神上的依靠，我不能失去她。我停止在京的學習，回到濟南，我一邊關注母親的病情，一邊更加發奮地學習，下決心要研究食道癌，為母親治病。可是用盡了自己所有的知識和辦法，化療放療都做了，還是沒有挽留住母親的性命。母親帶著對人世間的留戀和對子女們的企盼，撒手人寰。
Something unexpected may happen any time. Just as I was very busy with my research and studies, mother who had worked hard for all her life suffered from cancer again, which was esophageal cancer. This striking on me was too hard, as mother was the dependence my spirits relied on, and I could not lose her. I stopped my study in Beijing and returned Jinan. While I paid attention to mother’s illness, I was learning more strenuously, determined to study esophageal cancer to cure mother. But I exhausted all my knowledge and methods, done with both chemotherapy and radiotherapy, did not I retain mother’s life. Mother died with nostalgia for the world and the hope for her children.
 
我終于明白，靠目前手術和放療、化療的治療方法，根本不可能在癌癥治療上取得實質性突破，要想挽救千千萬萬的癌癥患者，必須有一種新的治療方法出現。母親過世時，我還是一個單身，母親曾經那么迫切想看到我能夠完婚，但最終還是沒有實現。在安葬母親后，我看到老家有患食道癌的老鄉，沒條件治療卻還活著，對我真是一個打擊。這是多么大的諷刺�。∩綎|省腫瘤醫院的腫瘤醫生，連自己母親的病都治不好，我心中痛苦極了。同時，這也讓我對癌癥的研究和治療有了諸多的質疑。為了研究，我在自己身上打過針做過實驗，以至于經常渾身腫脹，出現了全身不適反應。
I eventually understood that it was impossible to achieve substantive breakthrough in treatment of cancer by operation and radiotherapy, chemotherapy present, in order to save thousands on thousands of cancer patients, there must be a new therapeutic method. When mother died, I was a single. Mother once so desperately wanted to see I was married, but it was not ultimately implemented. After the burial, I observed a fellow-villager at our native place who had suffered from esophageal cancer was still alive without treatment as he could not afford the cost. This was really a blow to me, how ironic it was! Be a oncology doctor from Shandong Provincial Tumor Hospital, I even could not cure my own mother's illness, my heart was very painful. At the same time, it also made me to have many questions on research and treatment of cancer. In order to study, I had done injections and experiments in my own body, so which was often swelled, arising a body discomfort since.
 
中國醫科院腫瘤醫院的同事們看到我如此這般，覺得我可能是因母親的病逝受到了刺激，鉆牛角尖了，都勸我別那么瘋狂，調整一下自己的心態再做研究。但我沒有停下來，母親都被癌癥奪去了生命，身為一個腫瘤研究者，你說我會是什么樣的感受？一個念頭總閃現在我的腦海里：為什么我們總被癌癥屠殺，卻對它一點辦法都沒有？一定是我們做得太少了。要想拯救千千萬萬的癌癥患者不再被癌癥奪走生命，不抓緊時間研究怎么能行呢？
The colleagues from the Cancer Hospital of Chinese Medical College saw me like this, and thought maybe I was stimulated by mother’s death and was heading into a blind alley, so they advised me not to do so crazy, adjusting my own mentality then to research again. But I did not stop. My mother died just because of cancer, as a cancer researcher, what a kind of feeling, you say, I would have? An idea always flashed in my mind: why were we always slaughtered by cancer but having no way for it? It must be that we did too little. In order to save thousands and thousands of patients from the killing of cancer, how could you do it not to seize the time to study?
 
母親不在了，夜間我常常從噩夢中醒來，心臟狂跳不止。夢里的自己身穿白大褂推著輪椅，輪椅上坐著患病的母親，似乎要去做身體檢查，醫院的走廊很長很長，我推著母親走啊，走啊，老是走不到頭……走廊兩側站著很多人，他們用那種鄙視的眼光盯著我，人群中不少人對我指指點點，我都不敢抬頭看他們。我聽到人們議論我：“身為一個醫生，一個研究癌癥的醫生，連自己母親的病都治不了，這算是什么醫生啊？”我面紅耳赤，腦子里亂哄哄的，趕忙疾步向前。一直走一直走，我都累得氣喘吁吁了，還是看不到化驗室的門。這時，一群面目猙獰的人紛紛圍了上來，又是一頓無休止的指責，這時候我忽然失去控制，大吼一聲：“走開！”驚醒后，我出了一身冷汗，這才發現自己是在夢中。
Mother had gone, while at night I often wake up from a nightmare with heart pounding. In the dreams, I was in the white coat, pushing a wheelchair in which sat the sick mother, seeming to want to do physical examination. The hospital corridor was very long, pushing mother， I walked, walked, and always went round......A lot of people were standing on both sides of the corridor, stared at me with that kind of contempt eyes, quite a few in the crowd were pointing at me, I did not dare to look at them. I heard the people talking about me: "As a doctor, a cancer doctor, even his own mother's disease cannot be cured, what a doctor is it?"
我面紅耳赤，腦子里亂哄哄的，趕忙疾步向前。一直走一直走，我都累得氣喘吁吁了，還是看不到化驗室的門。這時，一群面目猙獰的人紛紛圍了上來，又是一頓無休止的指責，這時候我忽然失去控制，大吼一聲：“走開！”驚醒后，我出了一身冷汗，這才發現自己是在夢中。
I flushed with shame, and my brain was noisy, then I quickly hurtled forward. Walked and walked all along till I was tired to pant for breath, still I could not see the laboratory door. At this time, a group of people with fierce looking gathered around me, and there was another endless criticism, just then I suddenly lost control with a big growl: "Go away!" Waken up, I broke out in a cold sweat and found that it was a dream.
 
　　我曾無數次地重復著類似的夢境。
癌癥對我來說，是瘡疤、是淚痕、是恥辱……癌癥就是一個大災難。對于患者、家庭、親人們來說，癌癥就是猙獰的殺人犯，癌癥“黑洞”之謎何時能解開？何時能見到一束陽光？我能做些什么？這是日后我一直沒有放棄癌癥研究和治療的重要原因。
I had ever repeated similar dreams for many times.
Cancer, for me, was the scar, the tear stains; the shame...... cancer was just a major disaster. For the patients, the families and the relatives, cancer was a ferocious killer, when would the mystery of cancer "black hole" be solved? When could the people see a beam of sunlight? What can I do? This was the major reason why I would never give up the research and treatment of cancer in the future.
 
為了這個抗癌中國夢，為了那一束穿透癌癥“黑洞”的陽光，我踏進了癌癥“黑洞”里，三十多年如一日，悶在了這個“黑洞”中；我投入了我全部的精力，夜以繼日地與癌癥抗爭，執著地一路走來。
In order to realize the China dream of anticancer as well as to obtain a beam of sunlight penetrating the cancer "black hole", I stepped into the cancer "black hole", taking more than thirty years as one day, closed myself in the "black hole"; I put all my energy round the clock into the battle with cancer, tenaciously go through the whole journey.
 
1.2自始至終就想成為一個高尚的腫瘤醫生
1.2 I wanted to be a noble oncologist all the way
 
癌癥“黑洞”究竟是什么，里面都包含著怎樣的東西？1988年我從協和醫科大學碩士研究生畢業時，對此并沒有清楚的認識。1990年我憑自己的勤奮和成就，收到了美國加州圣地亞哥醫學院的博士后研究邀請，辭去原本待遇豐厚的中日友好醫院的工作，孤注一擲遠赴大洋彼岸尋求攻克癌魔的方法，希望再深入一點去探索癌癥“黑洞”，找到那束陽光，實現自己追求的夢想。
What on earth is the cancer "black hole"? What a kind of things are contained inside? I had no clear understanding on these questions when I graduated from Union Medical College in 1988. In 1990, I received the invitation for postdoctoral research from the Medical College of California, San Diego, USA. relying on my hard work and achievements, then I resigned the work in China-Japan Friendship Hospital which was very lucrative to seek ways of conquering cancer on the other side of the ocean with the idea of throwing the helve after the hatchet, wished to go further a little to explore cancer "black hole", finding the beam of sunlight, to realize my dreams.
 
沒有其他的追求，也不想追求那些虛的榮耀與頭銜，我就想成為一個高尚的腫瘤醫生，為人類攻克癌癥“黑洞”做一點貢獻。
Neither other pursuit, nor the wants to pursue the false glory and titles, I just want to be a noble oncologist, contribute a little for human by conquering cancer "black hole".
 
到美國學習，因為受到了導師斯奈爾·金（Sinil Kims）的影響，向他學習緩釋庫這個概念及應用方法。與此同時，我意識到自己缺少許多知識，急需充實自己，特別是分子生物知識。
Learning in American, I was affected by my supervisor Sinil Kims and learned the concept and application methods of sustained-release base from him. At that time, I was aware of that I lacked a lot of knowledge, and urgently need to enrich myself, especially the knowledge on molecular biological.  
 
我是恢復高考后的第一屆大學生，雖然基礎不錯，但醫學大學生主要以生物、生化等比較基礎的學科為主，授課時間比較短，內容比較淺顯，是以臨床方面知識為主，大學畢業做住院醫生是完全可以勝任，但是做研究工作就差得太遠了。
I was one of the college students from the first session after the resumption of college entrance examination, although the base of my knowledge was good, the medical college students mainly learn the comparatively basis subjects such as biological, biochemical and so on, and the teaching time was short, the content was relatively simple, principally with the clinical knowledge. The one who graduated from the medical college was fully qualified to be a resident doctor, but too far to the research work.
讀研究生時，自己的水平得到了進一步提高。當年，考取碩士研究生的比例非常小，專業分得很細。在國內，我的研究方向是核醫學、腎上腺嗜鉻細胞瘤的顯像、淋巴結顯像劑等。
When I was pursuing the master degree, my medicine level had been further improved. The year when I obtained the permission, the proportion of admission for graduate was very small, and profession was shared very fine. In China, my research direction was a nuclear medicine, imaging of adrenal pheochromocytoma, lymph node imaging agent and so on.
 
到了美國，研究方向變了，知識就有些不太夠用了。跟著導師做過幾年的分子生物學研究，確實填補了我的短板。在分子生物學的大潮中，至少我不說外行話了，至少我更能理解生物治療中的關鍵點及相關的聯系了。
In the USA, my research direction changed, and then my knowledge was something not enough. It really filled up my weak points following the supervisor to research on molecular biology for several years. In the tide of molecular biology, at least I didn't speak in layman's language any more, and at least I could understand better the key points and related links of biological treatment .
 
我很注意參加索爾克生物研究所(Salk、Institute for Biological Studies）和圣地亞哥加州大學（University of California, San Diego）的各種學術會議、講座，有些講座可能完全與我的研究無關，我也一樣參加，為的是受受啟發，看看能否找到我感興趣的內容，尤其是癌癥治療方面的新點子或新思路。學術會也多數與我的目的相差甚遠，我只是聽聽，當作練英語，當作休息，這些學術講座會都備有飲料及小吃，我就當作休閑。
I paid great attention to the various academic conferences, lectures at Salk Institute for Biological Studies and University of California, San Diego. Some of the lectures had nothing to do with my research, which I also attended to be inspired and to have a look whether I could find something I was interested about, especially the new ideas or new thoughts on cancer treatment. Most of the academic conferences also differed very far from my purpose, which I just listened to as a practicing of English and a rest. As in these lectures and conferences, there were prepared drinks and snacks; I just regarded it as a casual.
索爾克生物研究所是坐落在加州南部拉霍亞的一個獨立非營利科學研究機構。它于1960年由喬納斯·索爾克（Jonas Salk）創立，創始者中有雅各布·布羅諾夫斯基（Jacob Bronowski)）和弗朗西斯·克里克（Francis Crick）。1962年研究所正式投入運行。這所研究所是美國生命科學領域成果最多、質量最高的研究機構之一。在中國知道的人很少，多數人知道哈佛醫學院。2004年，《時代高等教育》增刊將索爾克生物研究所列為世界第一的生物醫學研究機構，2006年，《科學觀察》將其列為神經科學和行為學領域全球第一的研究所。路易·康是索爾克生物研究所的設計者，在美國現代建筑師中，路易·康在建筑學上的地位相當高。他在1901年2月20日生于愛沙尼亞的薩拉馬島，1905年隨父母移居美國費城，1924年畢業于費城賓夕法尼亞大學。大器晚成的他五十多歲時才真正成為一代宗師，他的建筑作品通常是在質樸中呈現出永恒和典雅，他闡述了建筑應該怎樣在反映人類對本質的思考過程中創造的奇跡；他提到的光明與陰影，與他在建筑作品中善于把握光的作用一樣，都啟發著人們對存在和哲理的思考。
Salk Institute for Biological Studies was an independent non-profit scientific research institution located in La Jolla in southern California. It was founded by Jonas Salk in 1960, and the initiators included Jacob Bronowski and Francis Crick. The Institute was officially put into operation in 1962. It was one of the research institutions which achieved the most and of the highest quality from life science field in USA. It was rarely known by Chinese people, as most of them knew the Harvard Medical College. In 2004, the supplementary issue of “Times Higher Education” ranked Salk Institute for Biological Studies as the first biomedical research institution in the world, and In 2006, the "Science Observation" ranked it as the first institute all over the world in the field of neuroscience and Behavioral Science. Louis Kang was a designer of Salk Institute for Biological Studies who enjoyed a quite high status among American modern architects. He was born on the island of Saaremaa in Estonia, February 20, 1901, and immigrated with his parents to Philadelphia in America, 1905. He graduated from the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, 1924. He who great minds matured slowly became a master until he was more than fifty, and whose works of architecture presented eternity and elegance in plain, he elaborated how the miracle was created by the architecture through reflection of human thinking on the nature; the light and shadow he mentioned, as well as that he was good at grasping the effect of light in architecture works, both inspired people to think about the existence and philosophy.
 
這樣一些學術講座在索爾克和圣地亞哥加州大學幾乎天天有，多數是基礎的分子生物學，無臨床應用價值。當然基礎研究是科學家的興趣與愛好，也是生物學家賴以生存的工具，為了能晉升，為了能爭取科研經費，他們需要發表文章，需要寫研究經費申請報告，他們一生花在寫經費申請報告的時間，約占職業生涯的一半，然而，拿到經費的概率只有10%，甚至更少。
Some academic lectures like these were held almost every day in Salk Institute and University of California, San Di ego, most of which were the fundamental molecular biology without the value of clinical application. Of course, basic research was the scientist's interest and hobbies as well as the biologists’ tool for survival. They needed to publish articles for promotion and to write application reports for research funding, and the time they spent on writing funds application in life is accounting for about half of their occupation career, however, the probability to get funding was only 10%, or even less.
 
這些科學家拼命干的目的，是希望得到經費，用于研究和生活。哪里有項目招標，哪里就有科學家的身影，為了爭取到資金，拼命地思考出標新立異的項目，并設想著種種可能的答案，而一些藥企或大商人會選擇對自己感興趣的項目慷慨解囊，贊助美國癌癥研究學會（American Association for Cancer Research）、美國臨床腫瘤學會（American Society of Clinical Oncology）的某些研究。各種各樣的獎項，刺激著他們去申請，而藥企或大商人拿出的這些錢，在美國還可以避稅或減稅。因此多數不是為了興趣，只是為了生存。
The purpose for the scientists worked desperately was to get the funding which was used to study and life. Where there was project bidding, there were the figures of the scientists. They desperately thought of a rat-fuck project and imagined all sorts of possible answers in order to get the money, while some pharmaceutical enterprises or large merchants would choose the projects they interested then loosen their purse strings generously, sponsored certain research projects from America Association for Cancer Research, American Society of Clinical Oncology. Various awards stimulated them to apply for, and the money taken out from the pharmaceutical enterprises or large merchants, in America, can be tax avoidance or tax cuts, so most of the applications were just for survival rather than for interesting.
 
多數的哲學博士 (Doctor of Philosophy，Ph.D.)的工資，不像臨床醫學博士（Doctor of Medicine，M.D.）的工資那么高，因為這些臨床醫學博士可以一邊做醫生，一邊做研究，他們主要出于興趣，為在臨床實踐中遇到的困難和問題尋找答案，尋找解決的方案，這也是我比較欣賞的一種研究方式。在美國，這種醫生社會地位較高，工資待遇較高。
Wages of most Ph.D was not so high as that of M.D., because these M.D could do as a doctor, while they were doing research which mainly out of their interest, to find answers to the difficulties and problems encountered in clinical practice and to find the solution schemes to them, which was also a way of research I appreciated relatively. In the USA, this kind of doctors enjoyed a relatively high social status with high salary.
 
中國留學生在國內學醫，到了美國，有的人會去讀哲學博士，目的是通過讀哲學博士提高英語交流能力，同時有個學生身份在美國可以合法居留，有的人選擇考美國的行醫執照。在美國，臨床醫學博士一般都有行醫執照，你考過執照，做完實習醫生，就可以當醫生。相比較而言在國內讀了碩士、博士的人好像吃了大虧，其實沒吃虧，打的基礎好了，進步快，適應快。
Some of Chinese overseas students who had studied medicine domestic, in America, however would go to study Ph.D in order to improve their ability to communicate in English as well as with a pupilage they could legally reside in the USA., while some of them chose to take USA license to practice medicine. In American, clinical M.D generally has a license to practice medicine. If you passed the license exam, finished the intern, then you could be a doctor. Comparison at home the persons who had read a Master or a Doctor seemed to suffer heavy losses, in fact they didn't, a good basis of learning for faster progress and a adaptation quickly.
 
我見過不少的中國醫學學士，到了美國后干得很好，當然，一開始也是費了不少勁，克服了不少困難，有的人還通過自學來補課。  
I had seen a lot of China Bachelor of medicine done very well in America, of course, who had to face a lot of trouble at the beginning, overcome many difficulties, and some of them even through self-study to make up their deficiency.
 
延安老兄就是其中一個，他沒有研究生的經歷，后來考取了行醫執照，在美國就是當然的臨床醫學博士。我的中國朋友毛利（Mao Li）也很優秀，在著名的安德森腫瘤中心（M.D. Anderson腫瘤中心創建于1941年，是全世界最重要的癌癥研究中心之一）當了教授，沒有考行醫執照，也是臨床醫學博士，也沒有國內外研究生的經歷。近年他又去了美國馬里蘭的一家口腔醫學院當了系主任，為中國人爭了光，如按國內的觀點，他確實沒有得過博士學位，但美國承認了他，又當了不同級別的教授，就是當然的臨床醫學博士。
Brother Yanan was one of them, he had not experience graduate, later he passed the exam and got the medical license who was a rightful M.D in USA. My Chinese friend Mao Li was also very excellent who had become a professor in famous M.D.Anderson Cancer Center (M.D. Anderson cancer center was founded in 1941, and it is one of the most important cancer research center all over the world) , he did not get the license to practice medicine, but also the clinical medical doctor, besides, he did not have the postgraduate experience either domestic or foreign. Recently, he went to be a dean of department in a stomatology college in Maryland, USA, which was honor for Chinese. According to the domestic viewpoint, he did not have a doctorate indeed, while USA admitted him; and he had become a professor at different levels, then of course a clinical medical doctor. 
 
美國任何一個大學的助理教授（Assistant Professor）、副教授（Associate Professor），或加冠于副（Adjunct）之類，條件之一是具有哲學博士或臨床醫學博士或同等學力，只要你在美國干得好，就能得到承認，這就是美國。這些人回國了，國內的觀點與美國有所不同，那屬于國情問題，不是個人能主宰的，我覺得，承認與否無關緊要，只要有能力就可以了。
One of the conditions for Assistant Professor, Associate Professor or other title with “Adjunct” from any University in the USA is Ph.D. or M.D. or equivalent, as long as you done well in USA, you would be admitted, this is America. When these people returned, however domestic viewpoint was different from that in America which belonged to the national affairs and could not be controlled by the individual, I thought, as long as you had capability, it was not important to be admitted or not.
　　像我就是這樣，在美國得到了承認。回國了就按國內的規矩辦，也沒有問題。
在美國的研究室，我努力工作著，加班加點是經常的事，有時半夜睡不著，就到實驗室搞研究，時常錯過吃飯時間，餓了就隨便找點吃的。就這樣，兩年很快過去了。
Just as I was, my M.D.was recognized in USA, while in China, it was no problem to go along domestic rules. 
As in American research, I worked very hard, and it was the often case to work overtime” Sometimes I could not sleep in the middle of the night, then I went to the lab to do experiment. I often missed the dinner time, be hungry then to grab something to eat. So, two years passed quickly.
 
1992年，我有幸在世界著名的索爾克做博士后研究。在這個研究所里，我如魚得水，開始在美國嶄露頭角，我的科研成果于1994年曾得到美國陸軍醫學研究開發署（U.S Army Medical Research and Development Command）科學前途發展獎16萬美元，當時我們實驗室的十幾個博士后中，就我跟另一個中國人得到這筆經費，一時驚呆他人，我倆都沒有哲學博士。同時我也是首席科學家（Principle Investigator，PI），同時還被聘為該研究所的研究員，同年被破格聘為加州大學圣地亞哥分校醫學院的助理教授。  
In 1992, I was honor doing postdoctoral research at Salk, the world famous institute where I felt myself just like a fish in water, began to cut a striking figure in America. My research results was granted the Future of Science Development Award with $160,000 by U.S Army Medical Research and Development Command in 1994, when there were more a dozen postdoctoral in our laboratory, only me and another Chinese fellow enjoyed this funding, and this stunned others, as neither of us was a Ph.D., at the same time I was also the Principle Investigator as well as appointed to be a researcher in the Institute, the same year I was employed to be assistant professor at the University of California, San Diego.
 
（以下部分及3、4、5節的譯稿尚未校對，抱歉！還有第6節哦）
 
 
1.6在美國名校圣地亞哥加州大學腫瘤中心，跟導師斯奈爾學以致用
1.6 At the cancer center in University of California, San Diego, I studied to practice following supervisor Sinil   
我的第一個導師，私下都稱老板，是位腫瘤科的臨床醫生，因在圣地亞哥加州大學腫瘤中心，所以他也是助理教授，能帶博士生及博士后學生。斯奈爾在研究藥物載體方面很有成就，發表過很多篇文章，并擁有一些專利如多室多層的脂質體（Liposome）緩釋藥物治癌癥。中心主任史蒂文·豪威爾（Steven howell）教授也是一名腫瘤醫生，腫瘤緩釋泵化療是他發明的，為此，他得到了一筆不小的資金。主任史蒂文在美國腫瘤界很有名氣的，主辦過美國多屆腫瘤學術會議，他的實驗室博士生較多，正在研究鉑類耐藥基因。我們同在一座樓，基本上是一個大實驗室，他是大老板，斯奈爾是小老板，我直接歸斯奈爾管，是他的學生，他的部下，為他打工的博士后。  
My first supervisor whom I privately called boss was a oncology clinician, as he was at the cancer center in University of California, San Diego, so he was also an assistant professor who could direct the doctoral and post doctoral students. Sinil had made great achievements in the study of drug carriers, published a lot of articles about them, and had some patents such as curing cancer using the sustained release drugs of multi chamber multilayer liposome. The center director, professor Steven·Howell is also a cancer doctor who invented the tumor sustained release chemotherapy and therefore gained a comparative sum of money. Director Steven was famous in the USA tumor field, had ever hosted the American Academic Conference on cancer; and many a few doctoral students were in his lab working on the research of platinum resistant gene. We were in the same building, almost the same big laboratory, and Director Steven was the big boss while Sinil was a small boss. I was directly under the supervising of Sinil i.e. I was his pupil, his follower and a postdoctoral working for him.
我在北京協和醫科大學腫瘤醫院讀研究生的時候，我就專門研究過脂質體的合成、功能及應用，并發表了幾篇文章，也算是第一個將脂質體用于淋巴結顯像劑及骨髓顯像劑的人。有基礎研究，還有臨床應用研究，這些在國內好像都沒什么特別的，但到了美國，研究和發明用到了臨床，人家就會高看你一眼。我的發明臨床效果還不錯，實驗室里的美國人就更敬重我。
When I was a Graduate student at the Tumor Hospital of Union Medical College in Beijing, I had studied the synthesis, function and application of the liposome, and published several articles about it, so I was almost the first person of applying liposome to lymph node imaging agent and bone imaging. It seemed no especial domestic who had engaged in basic research and clinical application research, while in America as long as you applied the research and invention to clinical, people would see highly of you. The clinical effect of my invention was well, and the Americans in the lab respected me more.
 
到圣地亞哥加州大學填了一大堆表格，有的看懂了，有的一知半解。月薪1200美元，這要比公派留學生380—500美元的薪金高出了很多。填表時有一欄是需要選擇的，哲學博士？還是臨床醫學博士？我覺得我既不能選臨床醫學博士，也不能選哲學博士。
At the University of California, San Diego, I filled out a thick pile of forms, some of which I understood while on some of which I had half-baked knowledge. Then I got a monthly salary of $1200, which was much higher than that of the government-funded student. As filling out the forms, a column in a form was needed to select: A doctor of philosophy? Or a clinical medical doctor? I thought neither could I choose the clinical medical doctor, nor the doctor of philosophy.
　　我便問導師斯奈爾，他說：“您填臨床醫學博士。”
　　我一再地向他申明：“我是醫學碩士，大學醫學學士，不是臨床醫學博士，也不是哲學博士。”
斯奈爾就反復給我講，咱們一樣都是臨床醫學博士，“你在中國已是醫生并有學位證書，你的學校美國也承認，在我的實驗室，做的是醫學博士后的研究，那你就是臨床醫學博士。”
I asked my supervisor Sinil for help, and he told me: "Fill that you are a doctor of clinical medicine."
I declared to him once another: "I am a master of medicine, an University Bachelor of medicine instead of a clinical medicine doctor, nor the doctor of philosophy."
    Sinil told me again and again that we were the same as the clinical medical doctor, "You had been a doctor with a degree diploma in China, and your college is acknowledged in America, in my lab, you are engaged in the study of medicine postdoctoral, so you are the clinical medical doctor."
 
　　最后斯奈爾半開玩笑地說：“當然，你要在美國行醫，是要考取行醫執照的。”
　　我覺得還是不妥，他說：“好了，你如果讀哲學博士，你就是臨床醫學博士加哲學博士，在美國有了臨床醫學博士，多數人不必再讀哲學博士。有些哲學博士為了行醫，也會選擇讀臨床醫學博士。你已經做得不錯，沒有必要再讀哲學博士，太浪費時間，讀哲學博士可能就是5—6年, 時間就是金錢啊。”
如果當年在美國我去讀哲學博士, 前途肯定是另一樣了。
Finally Sinil half made fun of me and said: "Of course, you have to get the license to practice medicine in America."
Still I felt it was not right, while he said: "Well, if you read the PhD, then you are both a clinical medical doctor and a PhD, while being a clinical medicine doctor, most in USA don't need to read the PhD. Some PhD may also choose to read the clinical medical doctor in order to practice medicine, while you have done a good job and no need to read the PhD which is too waste of time, may about 5 to 6 years, you know time is money."
If I had read a PhD in America, the future to me is certainly the other.
 
　　就這樣，我成了博士后，跟著斯奈爾老板做博士后研究。
1990年斯奈爾研究的阿糖胞苷脂質體（嘧啶類抗代謝藥物，通過抑制細胞DNA的合成，干擾細胞的增殖，是治療癌癥的一種藥物和脂質的合成體）緩釋藥物已經相當不錯，脊髓腔內注射，在腦脊液內存留二十天，可以治療各種癌癥的腦轉移和腦膜轉移。為了放大實驗室的小樣品，我做了很多工作。同時他還教會了我怎樣利用他發明的藥物緩釋載體，小樣品的脂質體我已經做得很好了。
In this way I became a postdoctoral, followed boss Sinil to do postdoctoral research.
In 1990, the sustained release drugs of liposomal cytarabine ( pyrimidine antimetabolites, the synthesis through inhibition of DNA, interference to cell proliferation, is synthesis of drugs and liposome for treatment of cancer) under Sinil’s research had been quite good, with intrathecal injection, stayed in the cerebrospinal fluid for twenty days, could cure various cancers of the brain metastases and meningeal metastasis. I did a lot of work in order to amplify the small samples in laboratory, while he taught me how to use the drug release carrier he invented, and I had done the liposome of small sample very well.
　　回國創業時，我還用中國的原料做成了多室囊的脂質體。
我和斯奈爾天天交流討論，他幾乎天天在考我，從免疫學到腫瘤學和制劑學，三天兩頭給我文章讓我自學。僅僅三個月時間，我開始頭疼、頭暈，并且越來越厲害，找眼科醫生一檢查，我的眼睛300度近視，從此我就戴上了眼鏡，成了現在這個樣子。
When I returned to pioneering work, I also made the multi chamber bag liposome with Chinese raw materials.
Mr. Sinil communicated and discussed with me every day as well as he always tested me from immunology to oncology and pharmaceutics, gave me articles every two or three days for me taught myself. Just three months, I began to feel headache, dizziness more and more seriously, taken a check by a doctor at Department of Ophthalmology and learnt that the myopia of my eyes was to 300 degrees, since then I had to wear glasses, become the appearance like this now.
 
利用脂質體承載藥物，腫瘤注射緩慢釋放藥物，維持藥物在一個較高的濃度，從而持續地殺死腫瘤，效果比較好。斯奈爾導師已經發表了一些文章，讓我研究瘤內脂質體緩釋的動力學。我比較懂得計算機斷層掃描（CT）、核醫學將造影劑，泛影葡胺包埋于脂質體，行瘤內注射，于是立即進行計算機斷層掃描（CT）掃描，記錄出片，然后用治療計劃系統（Treatment Planning System）讀出腫瘤內計算機斷層掃描（CT）值及變化，分析出泛影葡胺在瘤內的變化情況。
The effect was relatively good of which using liposomes to carry drugs, tumor injection to slowly release the drugs to maintain a high concentration thereby to kill the tumor. Supervisor Sinil had published some articles, and he let me study dynamics of intratumoral liposome release. Relatively I knew computer tomography (CT), nuclear medicine will contrast agent, meglumine diatrizoate entrapped in liposomes, for intratumoral injection, then immediately scanned the computed tomography (CT), recorded sheets, and then used the Treatment Planning System to read out the value and the changes of the computer tomograqphy within the tumor tomography (CT) , analyzing the changes of meglumine diatrizoate in tumor.
我們還研究了腫瘤內酒精飽和抗癌藥物，飽和液瘤內注射，因為瘤內酒精注射治療肝癌從20世紀80年代就開始研究，效果并不理想。酒精凝固瘤內蛋白使腫瘤死亡，如果在蛋白凝固同時包埋其中，一些抗癌藥物將會提高療效，主要思路是斯奈爾提出的，由我完成，整個過程僅用了一年多。
We also study the saturated alcohol in tumor and anti-cancer drugs,  intratumoral injection in saturated liquid, as the study on intratumoral ethanol injection for treatment of liver cancer was startecd in 1980s and the effect was not ideal. Alcohol coagulated the protein in tumor to make tumor death, and it would improve the curative effect if at the same time of the protein coagulation and embedded them with some anticancer drugs. This idea is mainly put forward by Sinil, done by me(finished by me), and the whole process took more than one year.
 
實驗一開始，患腫瘤的小鼠注射酒精后就昏過去，曾設法多次注射，效果也不好。反反復復浪費了很多時間，才使我想到如何讓小鼠產生酒精耐受，買來新生小鼠就喂10%酒精，三天增一個量級，直至100%酒精。小鼠由于長期喝酒，長得也壯了許多，接種黑色素細胞瘤后，就長得很好。酒精飽和注射液瘤內注射，小鼠就不昏了，試驗成功。
From the beginning of the experiment, the mice with tumor fainted after alcohol injection, and I had ever managed to do with multiple injections, still got the poor effect. The experiment was done repeatedly, wasting a lot of time, till it made me think about how to make the mice produce ethanol tolerance, then i bought the newborn mice and fed them with 10% alcohol, added an order of magnitude every three days, until the 100% alcohol. Due to long-term drinking, the mice grew up strong a lot, and even more better after vaccination of melanoma cells, as well as did not faint any more with injection of saturated alcohol and intratumoral. The test succeeded.
 
我多次在腫瘤中心會上發言，利用腫瘤組織凝固變性來緩釋抗癌藥物，從而達到更好的抗癌效果，這就是20年前我們提出的抗癌“緩釋庫”的原型。后來發表文章，那是在我離開美國約8年后發表的，我和斯奈爾導師共同署名。
I made speeches at the tumor center for many times, using tumor tissue coagulation degeneration to sustained-release anticancer drugs, so as to achieve a better effect of anticancer, which was the prototype of anticancer “ sustained-release base ” we proposed 20 years ago. Eight years later when I was out the USA, an article about the “sustained-release base " was published, co-signed by my supervisor Sinil and me.
 
斯奈爾研究脂質體緩釋藥物的目的不光是為了發表文章，他的目標是為臨床病人治療癌癥。這不同于哲學博士研究理論發表文章是為爭取更高的學術地位。斯奈爾開辦了帝寶泰克（Depotech）公司，就是用他研究的緩釋庫抗癌藥物的脂質體向美國食品藥物管理局（Food and Drug Administration）申報批新藥物。1998年美國食品藥物管理局終于批準斯奈爾的抗癌藥物上市了，同時他也上了美國的《紐約時報》，斯奈爾成了億萬富翁。跟他工作了兩年，我學到的就是學以致用，把自己成果最終應用于病人，斯奈爾非常滿意我所取得的成績。
The goal for Sinil’s study on liposome sustained-release drug was clinical treatment for cancer patients rather than to publish articles which was different from an PhD who published articles on theory research in order to gain higher academic position. Sinil opened a company of Depotech, which was just using the liposome of sustained-release base anticancer drug he researched to declare new drugs from Food and Drug Administration USA. In 1998, Sinil’s anticancer drugs was approved to enter the market by Food and Drug Administration USA., at the same time he was also on the " New York Times" as well as became a billionaire. Working with him for two years, what I have learned is to learn for practice, applying the research  results on the patients, and Sinil was very satisfied with my achievements.
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